Recent work on ‘resilience training’ in children has shown us that preparing our children to support themselves through tough times is a powerful predictor of their ability to ‘bounce back’ after setbacks and disappointments in life.
This message ‘Life can be hard sometimes but I’ll be alright’ helps counter-balance some of the harmful effects of the ‘overloving’ trap. This is the trap in loving our children so much that they come to believe that the world is all about them and that they should never feel unhappy, disappointed or sad. When these normal emotions do arise our children have few skills in knowing how to manage them.
So how can we best help our children cope with hard times?
Perhaps we first need to think about what this message means to us as parents?
How do we cope when we’re going through hard times in our life? (eg stressful period at work, let down by a friend, under financial pressure?) Are we negative and critical about ourselves? Do we get stuck in anger and blaming others for what’s happened? Or do we talk to ourselves in a way that is supportive and helpful?
Have we taught ourselves to say these simply phrases to ourselves when going through a hard time?
- I’ll get through this.
- Things will get better soon.
- I’ll be alright.
It’s important that we prepare our children for the struggles that may happen within their lives, so they won’t be shocked into inactivity, but instead take a breath and begin to support themselves through the difficult times. Life can be hard sometimes but I’ll be alright.
.
You are invited to join ‘The 10 Secrets of Successful Families’
free online program. Simply click on the button below.
To learn more about the program click here.
What to do next?
Return to The 10 Strong Love Messages overview
