Do you ever feel like you’ve been sucked into trying to be the ‘perfect parent’ and feeling like you just never get there?
How easily we can become trapped in the ‘perfect parent’ myth – striving to have perfect homes, perfect children and be perfectly happy all the time.
How did this ‘myth’ grow so strong?
In today’s world we see so many great opportunities that we tend to set high expectations about what life may offer us and what we expect of ourselves in return. In other words, we try to build a ‘perfect’ life.
As parents this probably affects us most in the trap of trying to be ‘perfect’ parents – which sometimes includes perfect homes, perfect children and feeling perfectly happy all the time.
Here’s a simple picture of the ‘good mother’ according to this ‘perfect parent’ trap….
‘Good Mothers’ are the emotional rock in their children’s lives.
They are able to anticipate their children’s’ needs and feelings and to respond immediately.
‘Good Mothers’ do not ask or expect anything in return.
Their greatest pleasure comes from seeing their children happy. If they ever feel tired, frustrated or bored then this is accepted as part of being a ‘mother’.
‘Good Mothers’ always protect their children’s self-esteem.
They only ever say positive things to their children or provide them with positive experiences to avoid their children ever feeling frustrated, disappointed or bored.
In its extreme, ‘Good Mothers’ become the slaves of their children.
And here’s the picture of the ‘good father’.
‘Good Fathers’ provide for their children so they can live the good life.
They should provide their children’s every wish, desire or need. If this is not occurring then a good father should feel inadequate about himself and his contribution to the family.
‘Good fathers’ do not ask or expect anything in return.
Their greatest sense of purpose comes from seeing their children happy. If they ever feel tired, frustrated or bored then this is accepted as part of being a ‘father’.
‘Good fathers’ do not expect their children to have to work or wait for what they want.
They provide so that their children have the best opportunities in life and they want this to happen as soon as possible.
In its extreme, ‘Good Fathers’ become the money-tree for their children.
The ‘Perfect Trap’ – the trap is in trying too hard to be the ‘good parent’ and ending up as money-trees or slaves in our children’s lives.
In our program The ‘Strong Love’ Parenting Program we work on ways of parenting well and in a deeply satisfying way, without becoming stuck in trying to be‘perfect’.
If you’re interested in talking with other parents about these issues or actively working on creating a stronger family –
then you may like to consider joining The ‘Strong Love’ Parenting Program
